Top 10 Regrets of the Dying

It has been said that when asking the ‘Dying’ if they had any regrets, that NOT ONE PERSON has ever said they wished they had spent more time at work, or more time in a bar, or more time watching television, or more time cleaning.  Because I have been in the position of caretaking some who were dying, I decided to ask those who were in my care, as well as nurses who were in direct contact with those who knew they were dying, if they had any regrets, and if so, what they would do differently if given another chance.  I wrote down what they said, as did the other caretakers and nurses, so that I could have a first-hand account instead of some email forward that was floating around.  And those that were ‘floating around’ usually named 5.

But because I was actually involved in caregiving and knew others who were as well…it kinda became a ‘thing’ with me for a few years.  And after summarizing everything I collected and what others (my friends – so they knew how important this was to me), this was the outcome:

1.  I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.  I missed being a part of my children’s lives and I missed my wife’s/husband’s friendship and companionship. A few said that spending so much time away from home cost them their family and they would be going to their grave with that pain as well as the loss of what could’ve been.

2.  I wish I’d have had the courage to live a life TRUE TO MYSELF, instead of living the life that others expected of me.

3.  I wish I would have had the courage to express my feelings honestly instead of thinking they didn’t matter or they weren’t popular.

4.  I wish I would’ve stayed in touch with my friends.

5.  I wish that I would’ve allowed myself to be happier, smiling more and complaining less.

6.  I wish I would’ve gotten to know God better. I’m realizing now, just HOW MUCH He’s always been there.

7.  (Women) I wish I had just let the dust sit a little longer, and gone out to play with my children when they pleaded.  (Men) I wish I had just let the phone ring, and chosen to stay home with my family more, or gone to that ballgame or that play.

8.  I wish I would’ve known NOT to sweat the small stuff.  It wasn’t all that important in the end when you are looking at the ‘big picture’.  I wouldn’t have even had to be on so much medicine.

9.  I wish I would’ve had the attitude of celebrating life instead of enduring it.

10. I wish I would’ve taken a class or two to learn some of the things I gave up when I got married and had a family.

Many times as I conducted my little personal interviews, the tears ran down my own cheeks, and I found myself creating in my mind a kind of ‘bucket list’ even though I wasn’t yet dying.  It changed some of my thinking, and some of my priorities to see these sweet people lying in their beds or forever sitting in a recliner, knowing their days were numbered.  To hear from their hearts with all pretenses and facades removed, and with the pain of their ‘realizations’ showing in their eyes…it kinda made me put myself in their place and imagine what I would be saying my regrets were.  Talk about an ‘aha’ moment!

So I leave you with this.  Life is a choice.  It is YOUR life….it is YOUR choice.  Choose consciously…choose wisely…choose honestly.  Don’t forever forget the things you’ve placed on the back burner for a more opportune time.  Choose NOW…so when your days (that are every bit as numbered as those I interviewed) are up, you will be able to smile with fewer regrets and more peace.