A “desert” experience is not one of the most enjoyable of experiences. It is, in fact, wrought with sweat, tears, aches and pains, low energy level, exhaustion, diminished sight, blisters, burnt skin, dry lips, dragging feet, parched throat, dirt and sand clinging, extreme thirst, hunger, a few scary looking threats to our well being, and lots of mirages that make you second guess what you think you see.
If you have ever had a friend who has gone through a “desert” experience, you quickly realize that “pious platitudes” just won’t cut it. You learn through trial and error, how even the well meaning advise you lovingly tried to offer, felt empty and heavy, even as it left your lips. You wish you could snatch it back, because you realized too late, that you just placed a subtle expectation on them to hurry up and get this figured out and “move past this” to something more positive. To be perfectly honest, there are just some things you can’t explain or figure out, and there seem to be no easy answers, nor does it seem fair. Anything that there are no easy answers for, or can’t be easily explained, makes us feel uncomfortable and we really DON’T know what to say. Which turns into the thinking that God is not fair or just, how could this be happening to such a good person.
Or maybe you have personally been in the “desert”, or are there now. If so….then you’ve learned what a “first-timer” has not…..and that is: it is what it is. A process. And in any ‘process’, you can take all the necessary steps that assure you a solid outcome; OR you can try to take shortcuts, going around an obstacle, instead of working through it, only to find yourself having to make the trip again to “get it right” this time.
At any rate, the desert is a place where you find out what you’re made of….who you really are (when no one is looking)….and what you REALLY believe (beyond lip-service). It is a place where you get REAL with God….where you lay down empty promises….where you pick up responsibility and accountability….where you silence the other voices screaming at you, in order to hear His “Still, Small Whisper”. And once you are able to truly hear what His Heart is for you, (in the trial you are facing), THEN AND ONLY THEN will this “process” be honest and have a successful outcome.
Having been through enough desert experiences in my 58 years on this earth, I have learned to stop thrashing around like a drowning woman who has had her air supply cut off. I now know right where to go to hook up my “I.V.’s”…..these will assure that I will live and not die. I now know to immediately tie in to my “anchor”…..and although I may drift some, I will not be lost. The pain still hurts, the tears still fall, sometimes anger or bitterness will surface and have to be dealt with, and doubts (and temptations) just take a number….waiting for their turn.
In the earlier stages of a “desert” experience, what people thought, said, or insinuated used to tear me to shreds, leaving barely recognizable remnants of me. Some used the Bible to “beat you up”. Hard to argue with the word, right? But when it’s NOT from Papa’s Heart of love, it can be a cruel weapon with a judgmental edge, that once cut by it, can impede your progress because His Heart has been misrepresented by a religious interpretation, and it can become your truth.
Then there are those who (though they may truly care) come at you with what they are calling, “tough love”. “Swallow your pride!”…..or, “Do whatever it takes!”…..or, “God helps those who help themselves.” This is based more on their own experience of “pulling themselves up by their own bootstraps” with a flurry of activity, than on quieting themselves long enough to hear and recognize what God is saying to them personally.
There are also some who deduce that you are being punished for some gross sin before a Holy God. Does any of this sound familiar? Yep…..Job’s friends, right? But because of what came at me while I was in the “desert”, I learned to truly value those friends who gave me “permission”, to just BE where I was at….for as long as it might take. They cried with me, prayed with me, held me while I sobbed, and held my arms up when I was weary. They gave me (and God) the space we needed for Him to accomplish His purpose(s) in me. They rejoiced with me when I shared what I gleaned as I walked out of each desert different. Humbled. Changed. Clinging to Him. Loved. Renewed. Grateful. Full of hope.
The following quote says it all:
“When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find it is those who, instead of giving advise, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand.
The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, THAT is a friend who cares. Henri J. M. Nouwen
This is the kind of friend I hope I am…..but am definitely striving to be……because this more closely reflects the heart of Jesus in the midst of us. ❤
Come, walk with me a while..... 